Welcome to the Blog
4 Years...The Long road to my dream job in Stockholm
"...I had to apply to 210 jobs in Stockholm to get one interview.
.How can my profile be desirable for International jobs and yet I can't get an interview as a receptionist in Sweden?"
I was sitting in London working as a Coordinator for an NGO when I decided to move to Stockholm,
Being pragmatic , I sent my CV to a couple of NGOs and schools as I’ve always had this dual love for Education and Development.
Much to my surprise I got called for an interview in Stockholm within 2 weeks and was offered a job , working a nursery/primary school
just like that moving to stockholm became more concrete.
At that time, I had a BA from UCL, a Masters from IOE and over 5yrs work experience doing project management for NGOs ,including working for the UN.
I spoke English, French, Wolof fluently and had passable Spanish so I figured, id move and within a year I would be sure to find a job in my field again..
we moved
we settled
we learnt Swedish
we started a family..
everything was going smoothly , except on the professional front.
Being the pedantic person that I am, I made an excel sheet of all NGOs I could find in Stockholm and made sure to get on mailing lists and newsletter lists etc
I knew I had to stay 'connected'
I applied for a job almost weekly
I called the ones I wasn’t successful with to get feedback on how to improve my application..
I networked
I attended conferences, all alone to meet people in the field
I created my own group on FB to link professionals (like me) in Sweden within in the Development field
I contacted strangers on linkedin to volunteer and asked for advice for getting access to the Industry from a Swedish Perspective
and still nothing.
I listened to advice from Swedish friends about wording and formatting of my applications
I considered picture on cv , or picture off
I considered changing my last name 'Joof' ( staunchly West African) to my husbands 'Campbell' ( wonderfully international)
but in the end I kept my Joof,
I didnt add a picture either..
I stuck to my formality
During all this time I was still teaching,
I contacted the employment agency, arbetsförmedligen to see if they could help me find the way back to roles that I am passionate and qualified for,
They informed that they could not help as I was not unemployed (this is true) and encouraged me to quit my job and then contact them!
By early this year my energy was running dry.
I still hadn’t managed a single interview in 4 years
All the HR people I spoke to, told me my application was flawless and just to keep trying
By this time I spoke almost fluent Swedish and so submitted my CV in the language that was required.
And yet, still nothing,
In the end, it was through a friend that I had met through teaching in schools, that I found a voluntary role,
I was incredibly grateful and I took the role on , in addition to my full time job.
It drove me insane, working long hours in the school,
running home to be a mum for the few hours that I could and then going out for the volunteering job again
However, the voluntary role paid off and almost led to a paid position.
It wasn’t exactly my field but it was something I was good at, with an NGO that I genuinely cared for.
Right when i was about to sign for that role I got called for an interview.
my first official interview in Sweden
My energy was literally at its lowest,
But I went anyway,
I gave it my all thinking to myself at least it will be real-life practice for the future
It had taken 210 applications,
literally ,
I kept count
I went to the interview feeling like my chances were zero but it was the Dream Job,so I did my best
Right after the interview, They offered me the job
To be honest , I had worked so hard that I couldnt feel that immediate satisfaction or happiness right away
something in my head wanted me to be cautious as it felt too good to be true
I did finally explode with joy on that first day of work 2 months later, standing in front of the mirror in the bathrooms! :)
I still reflect on my journey though
It is still inexplicable how i managed just one interview in 4years of active searching
I had applied for management roles,
lower management roles
admin roles
secretarial roles
and somehow my profile wasn’t suited for any of these..
Sadly, i know too many people who are going through the same situation right now in Sweden,
I've often thought about why I never made it to interview
my background
my ethnicity
my non swedishness
My name
the sheer number of applicants
I guess i will never know,
but after all that , I was certain there was something about me , my profile, that they didn’t want, I know this for sure because during these years I have been invited 3 times for interviews with Large NGOs outside Sweden
How can my profile be desirable for International jobs and yet I cant get an interview as a receptionist in Sweden
If everyone else i knew was happily employed i would take it personally, but the opposite is infact true
I know too many proffesional international persons in Sweden who are experiencing the same
in a society strongly percived as embracing and open to diversity and other cultures the reality on the ground is rather surprising
During my search, I noticed the lack of Diversity over and over again..
at talks, conferences, or even just looking on office websites..
Stockholm society IS multicultural then why are we struggling to see diversity represented in the workplace
Im just going to leave that question there..
For those who are still job hunting;
volunteer, get a paid internship at Arbetsförmedligen, talk to people and dont give up and network, network, network.
I wrote this piece in October 2015 and it saddens me just how relevant it still is to so many people I meet in 2021.
Mbife, Whats in our Name?
I felt my own self esteem crumble, it felt as I was on the precipice, if I couldn’t do anything about my situation, I would just pack up my bags and leave, the world is large out there, I know I have homes out there, I know there peace out there..
The next morning, I woke up with the decision made. - I would start working on the books for my kids.
It felt like a concrete way to provide counter narratives for people and children like me.
If I couldn’t change my own existence , I had to make steps towards changing that of our children.
It all starts with Seinabo Sey
I have been a fan, since I discovered her a few years go.
We have her songs and videos on steady rotation at home, she gives you those powerful lyrics, gorgeous melodies and inspiring videos that speak to her insane talent and artistry.
I’ve written in a post about how the lack of diversity in our community impacted my then four year old daughter .
My worry, and anxiety around that situation, coupled with constant micro-aggressions led me to a sad and lonely place without me being fully conscious of just how much it affected me.
I had the privilege of attending Seinabo Sey’s video pre-release event for her album I am A Dream. At the event she spoke about exactly these feelings I was struggling with and how songs like ' Breathe ' were born from the need to find that safe space where one could just be.
The lyrics, the music, the sisterhood and beautiful images from the Gambia made my own struggles burst to the fore.
I went home that night in tears,
I felt my own self esteem crumble, it felt as I was on the precipice, if I couldn’t do anything about my situation, I would just pack up my bags and leave, the world is large out there, I know I have homes out there, I know there peace out there..
The next morning, I woke up with the decision made. - I would start working on the books for my kids.
It felt like a concrete way to provide counter narratives for people and children like me.
If I couldn’t change my own existence , I had to make steps towards changing that of our children.
The name Mbife, is from a language called Bambara, spoken the Mali, West African where my mum is from.
Mbife means "I love You".
The books are an act of love, and they are born from my love to my kids.
It made perfect sense.
I had actually started plans to write children’s books a few years ago with a brilliant entrepreneur and self-starter friend of mine called Harr who lived in the Gambia. We were very much in the planning stage when she died very suddenly, in her 30s.
I dropped the idea. It burned the tips of my fingers to hold on to something that I had wanted to share with someone who was no longer there.
I hadn’t thought about the books since then, till that night thanks to Seinabo Sey, that I found my way back to something that meant so much to me, something so powerful and tangible.
I want to remind you that it is not by accident that there is low representation of diversity in children’s books.
Many western societies still operate on racist /colonial attitudes that we have inherited and normalised today.
For so many decades we have accepted that here are no meaningful experiences of stories outside the west and our libraries reflect that.
We have inherited stereotypes around how minority groups are, and we continue to reproduce that today on the pages of our books.
Even though I am referring specifically to race here, the same applies to ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs.
This is why multicultural books are so important.
They provide tools to promote values around the concept of diversity such as mutual respect, acceptance, and equal rights.
Multicultural books help minorities with their own identity formation and an understanding and appreciation of characteristics, norms and behaviors which differ from their own.
Since researchers tell us that, ‘everything we read constructs us and makes us who we are”. then what we read to our children must be of the utmost importance.
💜
Intervju med Kultwatch: MeR barnkulturs nätverk för afrosvenska barnboksförfattare
“Barn måste få upptäcka saker. Svensk pedagogik har en styrka i att den bygger så mycket på att utforska, men det märks verkligen inte i bokutgivningen, särskilt när det gäller Afrika. Det verkar inte vara nåt problem att ha en komplex fantasyvärld med enhörningar och allt möjligt, men böcker om Afrika handlar för ofta om en fattig familj på landsbygden eller talande djur.
För mig är det jätteviktigt att fatta att barn bara kan sträva mot sånt som de faktiskt vet om existerar. Det är viktigt att visa berättelser där de faktiskt kan se sig själva, så att de kan bli starka och framgångsrika vuxna.”
Emily Joof and Woody Oliphant shares some thoughts on diversity in childrens books and thier work with MeR Barnkultur.
Emily : “Barn måste få upptäcka saker. Svensk pedagogik har en styrka i att den bygger så mycket på att utforska, men det märks verkligen inte i bokutgivningen, särskilt när det gäller Afrika. Det verkar inte vara nåt problem att ha en komplex fantasyvärld med enhörningar och allt möjligt, men böcker om Afrika handlar för ofta om en fattig familj på landsbygden eller talande djur.
För mig är det jätteviktigt att fatta att barn bara kan sträva mot sånt som de faktiskt vet om existerar. Det är viktigt att visa berättelser där de faktiskt kan se sig själva, så att de kan bli starka och framgångsrika vuxna.”
Interview with Readers Inspired
Inclusion has always been at the heart of everything I do but I only recently linked it to children’s literature. It is important for me to remind us all that inclusion is a human right, one that we promised children everywhere through the United Nations Convention on the Right of the Child. So, we should not only do ‘inclusion,’ from the goodness of our heart, or when we have time, or when we have room for diversity. We have an obligation to every child, to ensure that they feel reflected, that they feel loved, cared for, protected and heard.
African Picture Book Author Spotlight
Q: When did you first become interested in writing for children and did you always know you wanted to write African heritage books?
A: Inclusion has always been at the heart of everything I do but I only recently linked it to children’s literature. It is important for me to remind us all that inclusion is a human right, one that we promised children everywhere through the United Nations Convention on the Right of the Child. So, we should not only do ‘inclusion,’ from the goodness of our heart, or when we have time, or when we have room for diversity. We have an obligation to every child, to ensure that they feel reflected, that they feel loved, cared for, protected and heard.
Diversity in children’s literature became the answer to one of my most challenging moments in life. Like all children, my daughter then aged 4, struggled to find a space where she felt she belonged. She didn’t feel part of the norm, she felt unpretty, she didn’t want to be brown, she didn’t want to be different anymore. This universal experience of otherness was amplified by a mainly homogenous Scandinavian environment. And the one thing that lifted her spirits and got her singing again, was books. I had spent hours ordering books, talking to librarians, reading to her, reminding her of the beauty in her brown, and sparkle in her curls. The message got through one page at a time. Reading has become our ritual and our remedy. So, we read more and I blogged more.
Q: You published your books while based in Europe. Do you think there are any unique challenges to publishing and marketing a book while based on the continent? What are they and how did you overcome them?
Although I see slow but sure changes in the trend. I have found it hard to publish and market my book via the traditional route. There seems to be less of an interest in the theme I was offering. There also appears to be a prevailing narrative that African heritage books are for African heritage children. Books are for all children, we all have different perspectives and interpretations from the stories we read, some more than others. As we struggle to be more inclusive with our storytelling, we must also be inclusive with our audience
Interview with “A Mum Life Success Story.”
Emily Joof is one woman who knows who she is and is passionate about teaching her children and other children about discovering who they are and where they come from. She has recently self-published her first book ‘Mangoes & Monkey bread’ in the hopes of bridging the gap between her family’s life in Sweden and their heritage in West Africa. She was kind enough to share the inspiration for her story and the process behind it with me, so I could share it with all my awesome readers.
At Mum Life Stories we are passionate about helping women (especially mums) to discover their own true identity and to develop the confidence they need to pursue their dreams. Discovering your identity is all about embracing who you are, your personality, your character, your body, mind & spirit, your culture, your background and all the experiences (good & bad) that make up your unique ‘life story’.
Sometimes life can take us out of our comfort zone or put us into situations where it can be difficult to maintain a sense of belonging, which in turn can foster a detachment of our self-awareness and identity. Knowing who we are and where we come from, is very significant in developing that sense of identity and helping us to embrace ‘who we are’ so we can start journeying toward ‘who we want to be’.
Emily Joof is one woman who knows who she is and is passionate about teaching her children and other children about discovering who they are and where they come from. She has recently self-published her first book ‘Mangoes & Monkey bread’ in the hopes of bridging the gap between her family’s life in Sweden and their heritage in West Africa. She was kind enough to share the inspiration for her story and the process behind it with me, so I could share it with all my awesome readers.
Slumpens Barn- By Amat Levin
Amat Levin’s new book is an homage to the african diaspora in its honestly and reflection of lived experiences.
I was honored to have been one of the person’s he interviewed among many and it is with incredible eloquence that you find our discussion in his book on Chapter 20!
Amat Levin’s new book is an homage to the african diaspora in its honestly and reflection of lived experiences.
I was honored to have been one of the person’s he interviewed among many and it is with incredible eloquence that you find our discussion in his book on Chapter 20!
Book extract from Dagens Arena
GAMBIA Det finns starka kopplingar mellan Gambia och Sverige. Två av anledningarna till detta är en stridsflygare och en radiopirat. Amat Levin berättar den osannolika historien om hur Bertil Harding och Britt Wadner upptäckte Gambia.
Tre månaders fängelse. Det var inte första gången Britt Wadner fick sitt straff uppläst i en svensk domstol, men aldrig tidigare hade påföljden resulterat i frihetsberövande. Det var uppenbart att rätten den här gången, i augusti 1964, menade allvar.
När hon dömdes hade hon under flera år varit den färgstarka ledaren för Radio Syd, en station som sände populärmusik och reklam från fartyget Cheeta i Öresund. Problemet var att det stred mot lagen. De enda som fick sända radio i Sverige var statliga Sveriges Radio.
Britt Wadner, född i Linköping 1915 och en före detta skådespelare och restaurangägare, var en så kallad radiopirat. Kanske landets mest rebelliska.
Varken böter eller fängelsestraff hejdade kanalens popularitet. Radio Syd moderniserade radioformatet, sände exklusiva intervjuer med band som The Beatles och Rolling Stones och 1964 publicerades en Sifo-undersökning som visade att Radio Syd hade fler lyssnare i Skåne än samtliga SR:s kanaler tillsammans.
Trots att hon i mars 1965 tillbringade en månad på Hinsebergs kvinnoanstalt utanför Örebro fortsatte kanalen att sända i hennes frånvaro. Framgångarna gjorde att Britt, när hon släpptes, kunde investera i en ny större båt att sända ifrån. Hon döpte den till Cheeta II.
Det året tillträdde Olof Palme som kommunikationsminister och lovade krafttag för att upprätthålla monopolet. Den 1 april 1966 kom en ny skärpt radiolag. Trots att Britt och hennes advokater försökte gick det inte att göra några liberala tolkningar av lagtexten. För Radio Syd innebar det slutet. Åtminstone i Sverige.-
Dagens Nyheter: De vittnar om rasismen som många i Sverige inte vill se.
Being a part of an article like this will always weigh heavily. My voice has to be representative of OUR voices.
But it is important to me that I am part of the do-ers.
That I use my agency and my voice where I can.
6th August 2020
Interview by Niklas Orrenius.
Being a part of an article like this will always weigh heavily.
My voice has to be representative of OUR voices.
But it is important to me that I am part of the do-ers.
That I use my agency and my voice where I can.
We talked for hours for this article.
🌻Parenting
🌻The education system
🌻Building children's self esteem..
Click the image for video summary of the article.
I remain hopeful for the discussion this might bring.
The change it might spark.
These are some of the reasons I started writing children’s books and Mbife Books was born.
A few weeks ago so many posted an empty black box.
Time to fill that box with actions.
Read the article from Dagens Nyheter here:
Samtal med Vi Som älskar att Läsa Barnböcker!
Att följa sitt eget hjärtas röst har Emily Joof inte bara övervunnit de motgångar som det svenska samhället har bjudit på, utan också hittat sitt livssyfte i att vara utbildningsrådgivare på Rädda Barnen, där hon jobbar för barnens bästa internationellt. Hon drar sitt strå till stacken med fokus på integration och mångfald.
Intervju med Sofia Jarlo
Söndag 2/8 kl 10.00, 2020
Passionen för Mångfald och Utbildning
Att följa sitt eget hjärtas röst har Emily Joof inte bara övervunnit de motgångar som det svenska samhället har bjudit på, utan också hittat sitt livssyfte i att vara utbildningsrådgivare på Rädda Barnen, där hon jobbar för barnens bästa internationellt. Hon drar sitt strå till stacken med fokus på integration och mångfald.
Nyligen debuterade hon som författare med sin bok "Smaka på frukterna" (ca 3-6 år). Intervjun kommer främst fokusera på mångfald och utbildning. Välkomna att lyssna på denna oredigerade sändning!
A Little something for you..
I want to do a little something more, beyond signposting and making recommendations, something concrete.
So, I am making my books available on kindle for free over the coming days.
As a person who has been committed to increasing diversity and promoting inclusion for quite a while now, these past few weeks have been exhausting, encouraging, frustrating, delightful, and draining!
As a result of the Black Lives Matters movement, I get questions daily from parents and carers looking for diverse books, diverse toys, books on racism and so much more..
I keep thinking what more can I do?
How can I be present?
What support can I give?
.... and I have finally come up with an little idea to spark something bigger.
I want to do a little something more, beyond signposting and making recommendations, something concrete.
So, I am making all my ebooks available on kindle for free over the coming days.
From July 13th to July 16th 2020 all translations of my book will be available to download for FREE on Amazon.
This includes English, French, Swedish and Wolof books .
If you do not have a kindle e reader, you can still read the books by downloading the Kindle app.
Should none of the above work for you, simply register for our mailing list below and I will email you the PDF file of the book.
I also have videos of my readings of the books in Swedish and English below for free so you can share with your children’s teachers and little ones.
For those of you looking for a more diverse bookshelf this is a good place to start.
Give your children, students, grand kids, neighbors, anyone and everyone the gift of discovery and inclusions and grab your self a copy now!
Mangoes & Monkeybread
English Version
Mangues et Solomsolom
French Version
Watch your free book readings here:
Smaka På Frukterna
Swedish Version
Mangoro ak Solomsolom
Wolof Version
Black Lives Matter
I thought of what I would have liked to hear.
I thought of the words that I would have liked to say.
I searched and struggled to articulate the weight of the emotions.
In the end, it came down to this ;
" I, am here for you"
I thought of what I would have liked to hear
I thought of the words that I would have liked to say.
I searched and struggled to articulate the weight of the emotions.
In the end, it came down to this ;
" I, am here for you"
Some of us fight one global pandemic,
Some of us fight two global pandemics.
One is new and the world is struggling to win this battle and reset our norms.
One is old and ignored time and time again.
One threatens to take those we love.
One has been taking those we love and continues to threaten to do so again, and again.
This fear that the virus has brought into our lives,
Racism has held over black people for a long, long time.
We stand alone in a sphere of empty space, screaming till the veins pop out of our necks,
We scream and wonder, is there a tiny echo reaching beyond and through the depths?
This fear grips us,
Threatening, that our experiences which we have lived through,
generation after generation after generation is to be inherited anew.
Think of that fear and reach out to say
"I am here for you"
This fear, morphed into rage will outweigh this new pandemic because we have been scared for too long now.
Because a cure and a vaccine gives us hope,
while empty words leave us hopeless
Reach out and say
I am here for you
I see you through the Fog and the Pain
I am Here for You.
Reach out, stand, speak, act.
Reach out, Be here for us.
Year-End Reflections...
I am so proud and grateful to supporters all over the world on this fantastic journey with me.
2019 was quite the year.
I pushed myself, (with a lot of support) from just blogging about books that I love, to actually writing a book that I love.
So many people contributed to the birth of Mangoes and Monkeybread it still feels rather surreal!
The book is the first of its kind, it brings to life some of our favorite fruits from the West Africa to life, through the brilliant art of Mathilda Rosen and photographs from Lena Nian.
Children in over 6 countries have joined us on this journey of discovery with over 200 book sales in just 5 months!
We have had readings in schools, in libraries, and even via video calls.
We were also extremely proud to have been featured by the Readers Inspired and Mum Life Stories . In both articles we were able to share a bit more about our story, what drives us and our vision for the future.
We are only just beginning on this journey to bring more inclusion and diversity to children's literature and we have lots of exciting plans ahead.
In 2020 I will be releasing french and wolof translations of Mangoes and Monkeybread and I have at least one more childrens book which will also be published.😉
I am so proud and grateful to supporters all over the world on this fantastic journey with me.
Love Emily,
Mbifebooks
Mangoes & MonkeyBread is Out Now
on
.
After more than a year of attempting something totally new,
errors, headaches, insomnia and frustration.
I have learnt that I really was not put on this earth to work in the media industry.
And..
My first children's book is finally out and available for sale!💥💥
I put together the little trailer above, to get you all excited,
but given the response to my crowdfunding efforts, I know you guys are ready for this!
This book is a conversation with my childhood.
A reflection from a time that I am so proud to share with my children and yours.
It is a conversation between my daughter and my son,
and a tiny piece of our heritage.
Thank you for all the support and energy.
We really hope you enjoy the book.
It is available for sale right here on the blog and also on
in paperback version
Click
to visit the Amazon site - Mangoes & MonkeyBread Paperback Version
I would also greatly appreciate it if you could leave us a review on
A
or right here on the blog.
Warmest hugs from me and my dream team!
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
PS- the swedish version comes out next week promise!
Welcome to the Blog
Hi!
I started this blog, out of a great need to air out my thoughts,
I had just become a new mum and was not coping too well.
I have never doubted the strength of Womankind but I never could have imagined how motherhood could be challenging and wonderful in its unique way.
There were just so many things that we never talk about or shared… from stretchmarks, to morning sickness, or attachment and hair loss. and so much more.
I felt like I entered a brand new space where I was expected to know exactly what to do, when really I hadn’t a clue.
I decided to blog as therapy and 6 years later I am still at it.
There has been an evolution or transformation to my blog in that what started as parenting frustrations has been whittled down to my latest passion and obsession; diversity in children's literature.
As a professional in the field of education, reading and books have been a constant in our home.
Quite early on I noted the gap in the literature, and went out of my way to find books which would reflect the lives of the children I was raising.
In March 2018, one of my greatest fears came to life, my daughter looked at me and told me she didn’t want to be brown anymore. She didn’t want to be different. She wanted to look like everyone else.
Being a third culture kid myself, my husband and I have raised our children in a world as diverse as we could provide, in our choice of schools, teachers, friends, tv shows, travels, everything was deliberately selected and vetted to broaden her mind and show her the beauty and complexity of her culture. By the time our girl was 4, she had already traveled 3 times to London, twice to LA, twice to the Gambia, once to Senegal and several other trips.
So, when she shared with me how she was feeling, I was not sure what else I could do. We spoke, and I comforted her and reminded her of the beauty of her brown and I decided to focus on enriching her self-esteem.
I could not change the world she lived in, but I could change how she lived in the world.
We spent even more time together, just talking and playing. I worked with her school to ensure they were aware and supported and one thing we did which made such a difference was we read books where she could see herself. I went through the library in her room and picked all books with African or diasporan characters and we read them over and over. I made up songs for her from the books and I hoped it would help.
One evening I was in the kitchen as she was in the bath and I heard her sing “kwela Ella African princess, Kwela mummy African queen, Kwela we are African beauties” it was one of the made songs from the book Jamila’s Dress by Niki Daly which we loved and read so often.
In that moment I decided to create my company to bring more books to children like mine. We tried to order more books from amazon and I was told the wait for delivery was three months as there was not a large demand for books like the ones we had ordered and I knew then, even more had to be done.
And so, I am doing it. I wrote my first children’s book and published it in July 2018. It is available on Amazon. The book is set in the Gambia and shares a tiny part of our heritage with the world, Mangoes &MonkeyBread and Smaka På Frukterna can be ordered now!
Thank you for following our journey.
xoxo Emily
I Wrote a Book!
Writing was the easy part if I am being honest.
I have been writing for a long time;
poems and letters; in diaries and then blogs more recently.
Somewhere in me, there have always been stories..
About a year and a half ago
I decided to write a childrens' book because my child asked me for a story that I realised didn't exist.
We are from a tiny part of West Africa.
The lives we live there,
Don't really exist in childrens books.
Our adventures
Our mishaps
Our nature
And our culture
All rarely found in books.
About a week after we came back to Sweden from a trip to Gambia, my daughter asked me a simple question:
"Mum can we read a book tonight from Gambia ..where we can see the plums from Grandma house..?"
I looked and I looked and found it no where..So I decided to write it.
It is true that I had been thinking about the lack of representation in media and books for a while but that moment really hit me hard.
I wanted to share some of my childhood with my children.
I wanted them to take a piece of their heritage back home to sweden.
But the majority of the books I found showed Africa in relation to war , villages or jungles and wild animals .
There were so few comedies or adventures.
Stories with our traditions or history. They were largely absent.
This interest in stories or the lack of stories, became a passion that I have been working on for almost two years.
Like I said, writing was the easy part.
4 stories poured out of me, like I had been formulating them in my subconscious for a while.. new ideas also started floating in my head waiting for me to unpack them.
Some stories, I knew would appeal to a wider audience as they were not so context specific.
But I felt I had to start with the simplest one, the one my children asked for, and so Mangoes & Monkeybread
born.
Once I started with the process, I realised one of the main reasons our stories are not in books.
The publishers..the gatekeepers aren't open to new storytellers like us.
So I decided to go for it on my own.
I had to learn new programs and software.
How to edit
How to format
How to find illustrators
Writing Contracts
Printing margins
Taxes liabilities
Marketing
The list goes on and on.
But I managed..bit by bit..
Yesterday, finally I published the first book Mangoes & Monkeybread on Amazon Kindle as an Ebook❣.
Thanks to a fundraiser, the print version will also be available in a few weeks ❗❗
Last night we read the book in bed on our kindle and my kids reacted like Santa had arrived in person!
They were so incredibly happy and excited..giggling all over the bed.
All I could do was sigh a deep breath of relief and satisfaction.
I cant wait for them the hold it in their little hands..
And if I am perfectly honest, I cant wait to start on the next book!
In the mean time, have listen to the free audio book in english below!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Princesses we can be proud of..
Quite a few parents, just like me are trying to raise our children away from traditional gender stereotypes,
Away from limitations and boundaries.
So that childhood is free of preconceptions and assumptions.
In our house this extends to colors, toys, books, chores, games , everything really.
I’ll tell you what the hardest one to tackle is though.. its Princess culture..
When you have a little girl, she is bombarded by gifts, adverts, friends, radio, television into this enticing world of pretty pink dollies, often blond, often skinny, even more often in distress, waiting for a prince of some sort for rescuing..
Thankfully the world is changing, very
very
very
slowly we are getting dolls that represent people in actual society, with hips, tall , short, different skin tones.
Even Disney movies are moving away from this old stereotype and we have characters like Princess Merida from Brave, who was rather independent in her actions and her story.
We also love Mulan’s strength and daring too, even she gets her prince in the end.
There is nothing wrong with getting a Prince, it just can’t be the default storyline, every. single. time.
If you have been following our social media on Instagram and Facebook, lately, you would have seen some of our favorite princess!
These are the Guardian Princesses and they are really quite the departure from the norm.
Each Princess is , brave, kind, beautiful and anchored in a specific culture.
They also have different special powers which they use to protect their people and nature.
They tackle bullying, prejudice, pollution, natural resources among other themes.
Princess Ten Ten is Ella’s favorite,💥
There is something about her doing martial arts, her closeness to her grandma and wind power that really resonated with her (my husband is studying Wind Power Technology, I wonder if that has anything to do with it).
I also love the depth of emotion in this character.
Without over doing the ‘strong woman’ angle, this princess is also very human;
she cries laughs, gets angry, gets hurt, perseveres, find confidence, forgiveness and love.
She also has short spikey hair which Ella thinks is pretty cool too!
Here in Sweden the children are taught right from preschool about the importance of caring for the environment and recycling.
Having Princesses which fight for the same causes, so to speak ,was a joy for me as a parent and made sense to my child.
Research in child psychology has taught us the importance of role modeling for children’s development. So, it is important that we as parent take a moment to decide who or what is my child being exposed to and therefore absorbing from.
We continue to wear our Elsa dress at least once a week and nothing is as beautiful as the transformation when Cinderella gets her magical princess dress from her fairy god mother.
I am not trying to remove any of these magical moments, but rather introduce an alternative story line where princesses are strong, have purpose, go on adventures, wear gowns or pants, in fact wear whatever they please! That way we contribute towards raising a more balanced, happy, and secure human being.
The same goes for my son by the way 😊
You can find out more about the books on their website here ..Enjoy!
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Not Quite Narwhal - The Story of Us
Like most kids ,
Mine are true, full-fledged members of the unicorn-obsession-club...
I cannot blame them, My generation has done a good job at passing down our love for My Little Pony
which, if you ask me, has evolved into something bigger than we could every had imagined!
Anyway, so we love unicorns,
And in my constant search for books, I found this one...
Not Quite Narwhal by Jessie Sima.
I remember as a child being fascinated by these large whales with one gigantic tooth that stuck out like a horn...
Could they have been at the bottom of the unicorn myth...?
I spent many hours thinking about such things...
So I ordered this book on a whim...
The story did not disappoint...
To an overthinking story lover like me, the book became interwoven with our everyday experiences.
Kelp (our main - not- quite-narwhal-character) is us
He is a third culture kid
He is the story of adoption
The story of acceptance
Of having two homes
Not fitting in perfectly
Being loved and missing those who love you, constantly
Kelp is born in the sea... and from the beginning; he notices that he cannot do all the stuff that the other cool whales can do,
But no one says anything.
They seem to love him, just the way he is,
So he accepts his limitations and carry’s on with life...
Until that fortunate/unfortunate day where he is swept by a current and catches a glimpse of something/someone who looks quite like him.
Intrigued he adventures out to find out more.
Going beyond the boundaries known to him,
Kelp pushes through and finds... land narwhals!!
They promptly inform him that they are not narwhals , they are unicorns...and clearly, he is one too...
Kelp has a grand time with his new tribe but soon misses his old one...ready to go back,
he says his goodbyes and heads home.
He braces himself to tell the narwhals the news about his identity, and shocker!!
They already knew that he was a unicorn,
They did not mind... all is well...
At this point, I was thinking... why did no one tell him???
Imagine the pressure of wondering how you will be accepted by your family,
This shadow of doubt around their love for you,
Why did they let him internalize his failures, thinking it was him...
Why couldn’t they accept his differences and acknowledge them openly, so he could understand them too!
(told you I was an over-thinker)
In our terms, I think the narwhals are ‘colour blind’
It reminded me of when I was teaching in a rather homogeneous class, with just one or two little brown kids...
The other teacher in our class was very much from the I-don’t-see-colour clan
And I am clearly not...
It got to the point where I finally addressed it in front of the kids one day...
I put some raisins up on a high shelf... and told the kids they were free to go get some...
The tall kids got theirs and were done in a second
The kind of tall kids were on tiptoes but managed to get theirs,
My short kids started to cry...
At this point, I got everyone raisins and we sat in a circle to talk about it...
My kids who are smart as can be, all agreed the shorter kids needed a bench to stand on, or a teachers help.
the fact that everyone could have the raisins was not enough, they had to actually be able to reach them..
If not, it just would not be fair...
It is time we grownups also start thinking like our kids...
We need to see people and recognize their abilities and limitations instead of hiding behind the mask of equal treatment for all.
I grew up in a society of Kelps...
We were all unique; there was no way you could pretend to not see difference...
Difference was the norm...
I remember moving to university and wondering why there were all black societies... Like the afro-Caribbean society...
I could not understand why people would want to join...
I mean yes, if everyone joined to learn more about afro-Caribbean culture... rather than just afro-Caribbean people being in the group...
I joined the Japanese club but quickly realized it was the same, there were only Japanese people.. and me.
I learnt about the importance of having those kind of spaces much later once I moved to Sweden.
Those spaces provide networks, comfort, less judgement... familiarity...a space to breath out especially when the world outside is homogeneous and unwelcoming. The combination of the two can be suffocating.
What about Kelp,
Well, he ends up not being happy in the sea either...
And in the end we see him with both of his families, on the beach, together...
This book captures the feelings that many, many multicultural people might have around having dual identities,
Multiple homes,
The concept of not quite fitting in anywhere.
It was a great story for my kids... who have four places they call home,
Who never feel like they have all their family together because someone is always far away..and it has unicorns!
they loved it..
We talked about how Kelp could skype his unicorn cousins when they had to go back home..and that seemed just fine.
I still wish Kelp had been told why he wasn’t a good swimmer
Why he didn’t like the food like everyone else,
Because these 'failures' can be internalized so fast.. and affect ones self esteem and confidence
We can acknowledge without judgement, Can’t we? isn’t that the beauty of difference..
The beauty of diversity
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Role Models
Since I decided to write children’s books, I’ve had a lot of conversations around the importance of role models.
It seems people are not so quite convinced that role models can have that much of an impact in someone’s life.
Surely hard work, and access to opportunities should be enough?
I have also done quite a lot of research on youth motivation and aspirations (in my professional life ) and despite everything that researchers have found it is clear to me that the results don’t translate into everyday life. We still ignore the psycho-social barriers around an individuals life and wellbeing..
I recently attended a Think Big Lecture and had the pleasure to listen to a discussion between Barakat Ghebrehawariat and Suad Ali.
Suad is quite the inspiration and as I sat there listening I couldn’t help but see a million parallels between her career path and mine.
She was born in Somalia and came to Sweden as a refugee at a very young. Suad told us about her dream to work for the UN, to meet Kofi Annan, to work in development and against poverty.
She has known and nurtured this dedication and ambition since she was very young and worked her way up.
This is her official title today (according to Linkedin); Expert, Resettlement and Special Operations, Swedish Migration Agency
She represents Sweden in high level forums and to a great extent it would seem, she has her career dreams in the palm of her hands.
Like Suad, I knew I would be doing what I’m doing since I was 6. I remember seeing the UN peacekeepers with their blue helmets on tv, and from the moment my mum explained what they were doing I knew that would be me someday.
I studied and worked systematically towards this and after my first degree, my first job was with the UN. Today I work and an international NGO in development, as an advisor in my field of education and development.
Both stories are parallel but that’s where the similarities end.
The stories I have listened to and read about Suad are full of hurdles; teachers and adults telling her she wasn’t suited for such big dreams.
Her swedish language was just not good enough. her professional ambition , unrealistic.
It seems that apart from a small circle of perhaps her family and one education counsellor much later in the day, Suad found her way, alone and unsure. She looked up to Kofi Annan in the distance.
Suad grew up, part of a minority in Sweden, a Somali Muslim who wears the hijab. I wonder how many African women were visible in her society as role models? Muslim women? Hijabi women? African-diaspora men?
I grew up in west africa mainly, until I was 15. My father was a civil servant. My uncles and aunties where right in front of me, living professional lives. I grew up seeing people like me as singers, artist, poets, doctors, scientist, experts, diplomats.
My dreams, whatever they were, were validated by society.
As a teen, my school had a Model UN after school club where we could explore world issues, be assigned as country representatives and debate in mock UN council style.
That club felt like home to me. My friends and I decided we would apply to join other schools for the international model UN conferences, the next one scheduled for London.
Here we were, in the Gambia, teenagers, with no resources , no grants, no clue just big dreams.
We fundraised and annoyed our parents into using their networks to fund raise too. .and we achieved our target.
Together with a teacher we attended the conference and I will never forget the feeling of representing Bosnia and Herzegovina in my speech in front of 100s of other teenagers.
The fire that burnt low was now raging in me.
The next Model UN conference was scheduled for New York the following year, it would include a tour of the UN HQ itself. We set our sight on the target, again, we lobbied, raised funds, advocated and made it there.
Suad shared the story of how she attended a conference in Stockholm a city not too far from where she lived as a teen. It was the youth she met at that conference, that encouraged her to apply for the upcoming ONE Young World conference. A youth conference very similar to my Model UN one. She too would get to attend, visit the HQ in UN and even meet our idol Kofi Anan.
She told us of the moment she stood in the UN HQ and imagined that space as her future workplace.
I remember doing the same, I placed my hand on the wall during our visit so many years ago and told myself I would be back.
Throughout my journey, I have never doubted my ability to get there. I applied to the top 5 schools in the UK for university - without having any assurances that I could actually get in or pay for it!
I’ve applied for so many youth development volunteer opportunities. In fact, my first real job after university was for the UN.
Truth is, I am in no way special. I have met so many people like me, just smarter, with more languages, more networks, more traveled.
I am not an all A student , I never got remarkable grades or won special prizes for achievements..
I simply grew up with my aspirations windows and doors wide open. I believed in my abilities to succeed.
As amazing as this is, it also means I often spread myself so thin because I don’t believe in failure.
I was reminded of that when I attended a workshop for aspiring entrepreneurs not too long ago. I decided to start my own company so I signed up to find out more. There was a group of 20 other people there and I realized the majority of them were hesitant to take on their own business, aware of the risk, cost, time and labor.
I sat there completely unafraid, my main question was “where do I start”even though I knew nothing about that field, finances or running a business.
Naturally, working full time, doing my PhD part-time, having a family and 2 kids under 5, the pressures of starting a business weighed heavily once I started. I am only human :)
But I often think on the difference role models make. Having one amazing, brilliant person there. Now imagine having a whole community.
Suad grew up in Sweden. The country with free higher education and resources. a woman of her brilliance and ambition should have sailed through this system, but she didn’t. she was met with structural racism, ignorance and discrimination time and time again. She moved cautiously and deliberately to become this icon and woman that I admire.
I grew up in the Gambia.
One of the poorest countries in Africa. A country that didn’t even have a university when I was growing up and yet I faced so little hindrance. I am sure there are more factors at play, social, economic, cultural, especially economic. But I don’t underestimate the importance that role models play, vis a visa diversity and racism.
Sahle-Work Zewde was just appointed as Ethiopia first female president. I remember her and other power women like her at meetings, and dinner parties as a teen. I had the luxury of meeting people like her, shaking their hand and letting their positions in life sink into my little teenage head.
My parents and social context raised me to believe I could reach any dream and I believed them.
Every child deserves the same. Needless to day my books will have role models at the heart of everything.
You can listen to Suad Ali's brillian Sommarprat: here
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Representing Culture - Disney's Coco
I was reminded of something this weekend when my kids and I watched Disneys Coco (for the 5th Time).
Miguel and his family are set in Mexico, they eat, sleep, dress, speak in as authentic a way as Disney could produce.
Some have even said that Coco is to Mexico what
Black Panther is to the African diaspora lol.
The film centers around an extremely important Mexican celebration of Día de los Muertos : The day of the dead, literally.
To many of my 'mummy friends' the concept is a little too grim and quite a few kept their kids away from this film which centers around “the multi-day holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died, and help support their spiritual journey. ”
In Mexico like most of African communities family extends beyond the nuclear, that is to say your parents and siblings.
We have a multitude of 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins, nieces aunties , grandparents, ...They are all active, present, overwhelmingly - family
That is one part of the Mexican culture that we share. Family
Miguel’s family is large, and they appear to all live and work together..
Whenever we travel to our other homes in London, LA or Banjul our families come together, sometimes for giant sleep overs or parties till dawn..and my children who live in Sweden get to experience this over powering warmth.
My best friends are my children’s mummies and their children my children’s siblings. This is how my kids see the world which is in no way unique.
Different people and cultures all over the world share these customs, however we rarely see it represented in cultural mediums like books or movies.
The ancestors.
In our culture we don’t really have the same relationship to the dead and cemeteries as exists in the ‘west’.
Our family members who have died, continue to watch over us and protect us.
We visit cemeteries often to take flowers and offerings.
We attend funerals with our parents from an early age too.
The ancestors are part of our discussions, celebrations and prayers.
They are not ghosts who come to scare or torment us. (We have evil spirits who do that instead:)) Ancestors leave us in a physical sense but we continue to have their pictures up and very often name our children after our parents and grandparents.
I never met my great grandma whose name I have but I hear stories about her everywhere I go.
Because,I have her name, people will ask me , do you share her temperament too and laugh out loud sharing an anecdote or story they had shared with her.
In Coco, Miguel crosses over to the land of the dead and meets his ancestors.
Because that mirrors our culture it was a much easier conversation to have at home.
I recently lost my maternal grandparents and have explained to my daughter how they continue to live on in another place..
In her head, that other place now looks like what she saw in the film.😊😊
My daughter has her grandmas name too.
Every time we watch Coco, Ella is curious to know which other family members she has that are in the other place. Family members she never met, but that mean so much to us..
I get to pass my memories on to the next generation who may continue to pass them on..
My mum was with us during movie night and she stayed the night.
As I switched off the light at bedtime..I could hear her name them..my grandma, my great grandma Lountandi.. on and on.. these great women before me, meeting my daughter through my mother’s memories..It is as it should be.
There are a million other beautiful moment's from in the film but that is truly my favorite.
By giving us characters within a culture, they took us away from sombrero hats and tacos or rather set the stereotype straight.
By giving us culture , we were able to learn about people a continent away and find so many similarities between us and them.
By giving us true narratives they fostered understanding. The next time any child sees a Día de los Muertos
mask perhaps they will think of Miguel and his family adventures instead of ghosts and ghouls. I live in hope.
In Sweden, the movement towards diverse books is younger than say the UK or US.
We don't have this great advocacy engine steaming ahead.
We do however, have smaller, constant , persistent, advocates and agents of change doing their bit.
In the last five years there has been visible efforts by some to address this by including more diverse characters in children's literature, especially in the 0-5yr old’s range.
This means that we can now find some books which aren't totally homogenous.
Although we have some diverse characters they are still often as secondary characters to the main story.
what I am truly missing and looking forward to, is characters with and within culture.
Disney's Coco is a beautiful example of authentic storytelling.
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Sibling Love
I am the middle child
I have an older brother who is very close in age and a little brother who is 7 years younger.
They are some of the closest human beings in my life.
There have been extended periods of time where we each lived on three different continents , and still today the geography is quite complex.
But we still talk every day, chit chat via messages during the day, watch football matches simultaneously commenting along the way.
My big brother is my confidant, my best friend, career coach and dance partner.
My little brother is my inspiration, also dance partner and in many ways considered my first child.
Because I have such a strong sibling bond ( thanks to our amazing parents) I think about my kids and how they will grow together often.
They are still very young and very close in age but I’ve noticed a wonderful closeness that literally makes my heart sing.
My son has probably 5 clear words and ‘lala’ as he used to call his sister has now become ‘Ella’ – her actual name which he calls out 1038794 times a day.
It takes an extra effort for us as parents to keep them together, they eat together, sleep together, play together, and engage in the same activities.
It’s not the easiest, I can tell you that right away.
For example, it would be easier to put my 5 year old to bed, read her a story calmly, and let her fall asleep and then tackle to rolling 1,5 year old who needs about 35 -55 mins of bedtime routine. But, we don’t, we have them both in a giant bed because they want to be together, holding hands, tickling, pretending to listen until we take a child each to calm them down.
The same when you are trying to build a structure with blocks with the 5 year old and my lil ones favorite game is to knock everything down.
But we do, we soldier on ..
Of course they both get one-on-one time with their parents but on the whole they are together the majority of the time.
My daughter loves her brother, he is ‘her baby’.
Sometimes she just stares at him and tells him , I love you my bestest, cutests little louis.
I remember that exact same feeling when I held my little brother the first time, I remember complete happiness.
Ella went to a sleepover last weekend and we had that serious talk were I told her “if you every feel scared, afraid or uncomfortable you can always ask to come home, at any time”. Then I asked if there was anything she was worried about and she said “yes mum, I am very worried about Louis, what will he do in the night if I am not there”💜
It comes across quite a lot, and even her teachers tell me that Ella and her friends spend a lot of time caring for, and playing with this little boy in the playground.
And I want to do everything to help them keep this mutual bond.
We have found that in books for our age group, siblings are very rarely together.
We love Doc McStuffins and Donny for example but there aren’t so many stories where they share the adventure.
More often , where there are siblings, the little brother or sister is seen as a nuisance to the older.
I remember being as old as 7 and feeling sad in class one day, in tears I ran out of my class and into my brothers class, and jumped on his lap to cry. He was 10 back then and didn’t even blink, he just held me till it was over ( right in the middle of a lesson by the way).
And yes we argued over things like everyone else in our childhood but the kindness and complicity was the norm rather than the impatience and annoyance which is often portrayed.
We found a story we love by an afroswedish author Anna Munyua about a little boy who is about my sons age, Melvin. Melvin has all sorts of cheeky adventures, his 2 year old self believes he is the most important and the center of the world :D.
One night after totally wearing out his parents he is up in his crib crying… his big sister walks over from her room and gives him a hug and comforts him. That moment was truly special, Ella immediately said to me
“ that’s me mummy , I’ll always take care of my louis even when you aren’t there”
Books continue to be the mirrors in our home.
I am writing a series of books about Louis and Ella where I hope to include all these aspects an themes that are important to us and that we aspire to.
The process continues.
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#motherhood #diversityreads #diversity #representation #representationmatters #childrensbooks #mbifebooks #picturebooks, #MyMummydiaries #Siblings #SiblingLove #Blackgirlmagic #blackboyjoy #parenting Representationmatters, #Representation #preschool, #merbarnkultur, #mangfald #favouritebooks #Diversity
Hokus Pokus!
Igår fick vi dessa två presenter i posten!
Ella var direkt nyfiken så vi började läsa strax efter middagen.
Hemma talar vi 4; språk, engelska, svenska, wolof och franska. Ella föredrar böcker på engelska men på hennes nivå kan jag läsa böcker och bara översätta det själv när jag läser.
Läs nivån på dessa böcker var dock perfekt för henne, så vi läste den på svenska. Jag vet att hon älskade det för att hon bad mig att läsa den igen så snart det var klart och gick runt och sjung hokus pokus runt huset!
Karaktärerna är underbara och fint. Ella gillade Noomis pappa och det faktum att han var så närvarande. Bildern av en stor, lång, pappa som borste hennes hår och bäddade ner henne sängen, läste en bok..., detta var något som var bekant för Ella Marie.
Berättelserna är baserade i scenario som är lätt för barnen att sätta sig i, skolan, lekplatsen, gruppaktiviteter.❤
Vi älskade huvudpersonens namn, Noomi💥, hennes modighet och självförtroende också!
Det är inte alltför ofta vi hittar och svenska böcker som kryssar alla våra önskemål:
den ska vara kul lättläst, bra med representation, och roligt men böckerna gjorde det verkligen.💖
Ni kan kolla in vår Instagram för en liten intervju med Ella Marie när hon granskar boken själv!
Tack Hanna Böhm för att du delade den här boken med oss.
böckerna hitta ni har : Olika Forlag