I grew up by the sea.

A short stroll and you could feel the salt air settle on your lips.

I can count on my fingers the number of times I went in the water to bathe.

I never learnt to swim.

I loved the water from afar and continued to love it when I moved, to live in various new countries.

Many years later, I got a daughter of my own and she was born with fear of water rooted in her.
I was determined not to pass on my hesitation, but it seemed she inherited it nonetheless.

“ a peek from afar was more than enough”

The first time she sat by the sea with me, I encouraged and coaxed. I did my best to get her to at least dip her little toes, but she looked at me and said mama it's too loud.

I had never reflected on the crashing waves in senegambia, on how mighty they might seem to one so small, and how terrifying they might sound to tiny ears.

So I held her close and we let the moment pass.

Through the years, every summer and most autumns we would visit lakes, streams, paddling pools.
She would watch, and she would think, and let me know it wasn't time.

We carried on like this until she was 5 and I signed her up for swimming classes.

Armed with her closest friends, she went in!

Victory!

She played and she learnt techniques carefully.

She moved around the water, making sure not a single drop touched her face.

Water on her face still meant total panic and chaos but she was in the water and that in itself was a beauty.

One summer
In the warm Gotland sun,
I watched her play in the pool.
Her bath ring and arm rings, snorkel and goggles, she splashed around having the time of her life.

Then she stood up, took it all off and she hopped in.
She swam under water for half the length and came up for air.
In that moment, I felt crushing fear and elation within the same breath.

She swam.

She still swims now, under the water somehow finding comfort beneath the big blue.

When she was small I wrote her a story about courage, persistence and time.

Taking the time to face what you fear until it becomes one with you.

That little story birthed a new picture book titled;

The Big Blue / Det Djupa Blå.

The award winning illustrator, Mathilda Ruta has created a magical world of water for my story and Raben & Sjogren will publish it in summer 2021.

Raben & Sjögren was founded in 1941 and two years later, the legendary Astrid Lindgren joined the publishing house. All Astrid’s books are published by Raben & Sjögren, and she worked there as an editor and director of the children’s books department.

Astrid Lindgren has always inspired me, as a pioneer of her time and a champion of children and child rights. Stories like Pippi Longstockings have enchanted children for generations and the house that brought her stories to life, will now publish my little book.

I am humbled.

Summer 2021 might seem like a long way, away so here is a sneak peek at what is to come..